Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
