so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Found your dick twin last night
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
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