i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
