somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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