Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
