is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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