(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
