Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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