So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
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