I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
