Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
