Pregnant stripper...not hot.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
