ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize
