come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
