she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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