Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
