I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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