your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Randomize
