Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
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