NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize