this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
