I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
