Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Randomize
