I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
