if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
this just has baby written all over it
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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