There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
