Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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