you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
