Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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