really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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