i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
