Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
