Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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