just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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