i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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