Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
