Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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