so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
