I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
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