At least make sure they are 18
Why
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
