I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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