Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
