This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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