I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
