Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam š
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
āOn a breakā is implied when itās a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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