just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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