in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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