i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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