Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
