I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
