That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
