Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
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He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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