WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize