Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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