Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
