Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize