He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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